How guys React to the good news of Pregnacy

Your partner may not react to your good news in the same
way as your girlfriends. Find out why sometimes there is a
difference -- and try not to take it personally. Here's how you
and your partner prepare for parenthood differently.
Your girlfriends jumped for joy when you told them your
good news, so why did your partner barely look up from the
newspaper? Men don't always react to pregnancy the way
women do. While many are over-the-moon excited,
particularly if the pregnancy is planned and happily
anticipated, others are flooded with worries. The best way to
help your partner feel more comfortable about your
pregnancy is to understand that men and women often look
at pregnancy differently. Don't criticize him if he doesn't
react the way you think he should. Give him space to
experience the pregnancy in his own way. There are often
legitimate reasons for men's reactions; for example,
consider the following:
•Men can't experience the pregnancy the way you do.
Sure, the man contributes half of the conception equation,
but after supplying the sperm, the man's body is no longer
part of the pregnancy. Both physically and emotionally you
will feel more, from morning sickness and labor pains to
first kicks and hiccups. Because of this, your partner may
feel less attached to the pregnancy than you do, especially
before you start to show. He may also feel left out because
everyone is paying attention to you.
•Men worry, even if they don't tell you. Even if your
partner doesn't mention it, he may be worrying about what
pregnancy will do to your lives. He may feel anxious about
upcoming expenses, your health insurance coverage, the
pain that you'll feel during pregnancy or delivery, what life
will be like with three rather than two, and the effects of
pregnancy on your sex life. If you are planning to quit your
job to stay home with your baby, he may feel more
pressure because he'll be the sole breadwinner.
•Men question what type of dad they'll be. For some
men, fatherhood is something they have looked forward to
for years and feel well equipped to handle. Others may feel
apprehensive. If a man was abused, abandoned, bullied, or
ignored by his father, he may wonder whether he can be a
good father to his child. He may fear that he will make the
same mistakes his father made. Talk with him about his
worries. Reassure him that you will work together to solve
problems and that he'll most likely be an excellent father,
even if his own father wasn't.
If you find that pregnancy brings up issues that are too
difficult for the two of you to handle on your own, talk with a
social worker, marital counselor, or therapist. It's best to
tackle these issues now, because after your baby is born,
you?ll have less time and energy to focus on each other.