How To Overcome Being Addicted To Sex

Part one(1)

1
Determine whether you have an addiction. A sex
addiction is not the same as having a vigorous sex drive.
You might have a sexual addiction if you exhibit persistent,
escalating patterns of sexual behavior despite increasing
negative consequences for yourself and others. The high
that you feel from sex occupies your mind constantly. You
always are looking for your next chance to feel that
pleasure. Examples include persons who spend half their
income on prostitutes or business people who watch
pornography at work despite warnings that they will lose
their jobs. This preoccupation with sex leaves less room in
your life for healthy relationships and other interests.
Anyone can have a sex addiction, no matter his/her gender,
sexuality, or relationship status. The following signs
indicate a possible sex addiction:
Seeking extramarital affairs
Using compulsive sexual behavior as an escape from
loneliness, depression, anxiety or stres
Thinking about sex to the exclusion of other interests
and occupations
Using pornography excessively
Masturbating frequently, especially in inappropriate
situations such as while at work
Having sex with prostitutes
Sexually harassing other people
Having unprotected sex with strangers that could lead to
sexually transmitted diseases (STD)s. If you are unsure
whether you have an STD, get tested right away. If you
are in a relationship, your partner should get tested as
well.

1
Decide whether you need professional help. For some
people with hypersexual disorder or a sex addiction, they
can treat their condition on their own through lifestyle
changes. Ask yourself: can you manage your sexual
impulses? Are you distressed by your sexual behaviors? Is
your sexual behavior harming your relationships and work
life, or leading to negative consequences like arrest? Do you
try to hide your sexual behavior? If you feel your condition
is leading to negative consequences, seek help.
Risky sexual behavior is a hallmark of Borderline
Personality Disorder, which the DSM-5 recognizes, and is
treatable through therapy and sometimes medication.

Get help immediately if you might harm yourself or
others, have bipolar disorder, or are suicidal.
2
Find a qualified mental health provider or therapist.
Ask your family practitioner for a recommendation of
someone who specializes in sex addiction. Psychologists,
psychiatrists, marriage and family therapists, or licensed
clinical social workers are all potential options. It is
preferable to find someone who has experience helping
people work through sex addiction. Hypersexual behavior
can appear similar to behavior associated with impulse-
control or substance-use disorders. Still, it is unclear
whether the brain operates the same way with hypersexual
disorder as it does with substance addiction. Thus,
rather than finding someone who works on substance
addiction, look for a specialist on hypersexual disorder.
If you are in a committed partnership, marriage and
family therapists can help both you and your partner.
3
Discuss treatment plans with your therapist. Cognitive-
behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment method.
CBT is a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy
treatment, which utilizes a hands-on, practical approach to
problem-solving. In CBT, you work with your therapist to
change patterns of thinking or behavior with the goal of
changing the way you feel. Your therapist might also
prescribe medication. For example, anti-depressants curb
compulsive sex behavior. Common examples are selective
serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) including fluoxetine
(Prozac), paroxetine (Paxil), or sertraline (Zoloft). Your
therapist also might prescribe anti-androgens, mood
stabilizers, or another drug.
An experienced therapist can help you handle the
intricacies of your situation. As societal acceptance of
sexual addictions varies, your therapist can help you
navigate your relationships and overcome any shame
you might feel.
4
Set aside shame or embarrassment. Focus on the
positive benefits of treatment. Remember that your
therapist is there to help you. It is her job not to judge you
or make you feel "bad" about your compulsions. Finding a
therapist you feel comfortable with and who you feel like
you can trust is essential for recovery.
If you're having trouble because you feel embarrassed,
consider therapy like any other form of treatment. If
you had a physical illness, you'd see a doctor. If you had
a cavity, you'd see a dentist. You probably wouldn't be
embarrassed or ashamed about seeking those
treatments. Remind yourself that you are seeking help to
make your life healthier and happier, and that's a sign of
courage and belief in yourself that is admirable.
Remember you are not alone. Many people struggle with
hypersexual disorder. Mental health providers are
discreet and understanding. They will keep your
information confidential unless you report that you will
hurt yourself or another, report the sexual abuse of a
child, or report abuse or neglect of someone in a
vulnerable population (e.g. elderly or underage).
5
Seek support from loved ones. Quitting a sex addiction
can be a lonely endeavor. Even though your previous
sexual activity might have lacked an emotional connection,
you might miss the physical closeness. Spending time with
loved ones will help you remember why you are quitting
and commit to stop.
You might have loved ones who do not understand sex
addiction or who are angry with you for your past
behavior. These feelings are normal. Try to find a few
people who can understand your struggle and help you
be successful. Do not spend too much time with critical
people.
6
Join a support group for people with sex addictions.
Whether you want a structured 12-step program, a faith-
based program, or a hotline you can call, it is a good idea to
connect with other patients. Look for groups online or ask
your doctor for recommendations. Examples include The
Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health, Sex Addicts
Anonymous (12-step program), and COSA, formerly an
acronym for Codependents of Sex Addicts. COSA can help
your family with their recovery.